In Parts 1 and 2 of this series, inspired by my recent listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast with Dr. Joseph Coughlin of the MIT AgeLab, I wrote about preparing for a longer life and creating a home that makes it easier to continue living that life.
But there was another question from the podcast that really stayed with me:
What are you going to do on a Tuesday at 10:30 in the morning?
It sounds like such a simple question.
But think about it.
For most of our adult lives, our days have structure. We work. We raise children. We have appointments, deadlines, school schedules, meetings and responsibilities.
Then retirement comes and, suddenly, a lot of that structure disappears.
So what are you going to do on Tuesday at 10:30?
And maybe more importantly — who are you going to do it with?
Your Social Portfolio
Dr. Coughlin talks about something I had never heard described quite this way: our social portfolio.
We spend decades building our financial portfolios. But what about our portfolio of relationships?
Who are the people we have fun with?
Who can we call for lunch?
Who will show up when something goes wrong?
And are we continuing to make new friends and develop new relationships as we get older?
That last one is particularly important. Our social circles naturally change over time. People move. Health changes. Spouses and friends pass away. Children and grandchildren build busy lives of their own.
Maintaining connection takes intention.
And this is where I think real estate and community intersect in a way we don’t talk about nearly enough.
Where We Live Can Make Connection Easier — or Harder
When we’re younger, we may choose a home because of the schools, the commute, the number of bedrooms or the size of the yard.
As we get older, perhaps another question becomes equally important:
Does where I live make it easy to be part of something?
Can I walk outside and see neighbors?
Can I easily meet a friend for coffee?
Are there places nearby where people naturally gather?
Can I get to church, exercise, volunteer opportunities, restaurants, classes or activities without it becoming an ordeal?
Are the people who matter to me reasonably close?
The beautiful house at the top of the hill may still be beautiful. But if getting anywhere requires driving, navigating stairs or depending on someone else for transportation, our world can gradually become smaller.
Sometimes the best feature of a home isn’t the kitchen, the view or even the square footage.
It’s what the front door connects us to.
Purpose Matters, Too
There’s another side to this conversation that goes beyond friendship.
We all need a reason to get up in the morning.
For years that purpose may have been our careers or raising our families. Retirement doesn’t mean purpose disappears. It just means we may have to become more intentional about creating it.
Maybe it’s volunteering.
Mentoring someone younger.
Helping with grandchildren.
Learning something new.
Serving at church.
Taking a class.
Working part-time simply because you enjoy it.
Or being the person in your neighborhood who checks on everyone else.
Dr. Coughlin’s work challenges the old idea that retirement is simply the stage of life when we stop working and withdraw. Longer lives give us the opportunity to keep learning, contributing and participating.
That’s an exciting way to think about aging.
Maybe We Should Choose Community as Carefully as We Choose the House
In real estate, we spend a tremendous amount of time evaluating the property itself.
Bedrooms. Bathrooms. Square footage. Condition. View. Price.
All important.
But perhaps, especially as we think about the next chapter of life, we should spend just as much time evaluating the life surrounding the property.
Who will I see?
Where will I go?
What will I do?
How easily can I stay connected?
And yes — what will my Tuesday at 10:30 look like?
Because a home should do more than shelter us.
It should help connect us to the people, places and purpose that make us want to walk out the front door in the first place.
Maybe that’s one of the most important things we can prepare for as we grow older:
Not simply having a place to live, but continuing to have a life we want to live.
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